Made Up Celebrity Gossip!

Officials at Area 51, wishing to remain anonymous, have confirmed that Madonna has in fact opened and at looked at the contents of the Arc of the Covenant and NOT consumed water from a fake, gilded Holy Grail as earlier reports had indicated. Regardless, she certainly chose poorly. 

The disembodied head of Larry David has been spotted on the Bestweekever.tv banner, canoodling with no less than Angelina Jolie AND Halle Berry while Bill Maher watched over them, filled with a mixture of jealousy and impenetrable smugness.

It would seem zombie hunters have been thwarted once again in the quest to slay Peter O'Toole as he was seen ambling about, with only a hunger for brains driving him, at the gala premiere of his new fantasy-comedy-drama, Dean Spanley, at the Toronto International Film Festival.