Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas!!

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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

G-Wood Orig.

"I think google wave must be some sort of google prank"

- Girl Woodie

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Sunday, December 13, 2009


me: i have really good news for you, Farihah
me: You've Got Mail is on television
me: hahahahah
Farihah: i have a terrible hangover that was too much for me
me: awwww
me: i sorry
Farihah: it's not your fault
Farihah: it's meg ryan's fault
me: i know, i know
me: and one of the Marshalls...
me: did Garry direct that?
me: or Penny?
me: or am i way off
me: oh
me: it was nora ephron
me: i was way off
Farihah: it's okay to have amnesia about nora ephron
Farihah: norepinephron
me: hahahahha

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Saturday, December 12, 2009

I miss Arrested Development.

"Say what you will about America…$13 still gets you a hell of a lot of mice."

-George Michael Bluth

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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Bohemian Rhapsody, Muppet Style...

I know this is late and all of you have probably seen it, but I kinda had to put it on the blog...

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

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Friday, October 30, 2009

Fave Halloween-ish Related Movie Moments

In honor of my costume:

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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Collin Wilcox Paxton

Collin Wilcox Paxton, best known for her role as Mayella Ewell in "To Kill a Mockingbird" passed away yesterday. Normally this type of thing wouldn't make the Pop Cultured headlines, but Collin Wilcox Paxton grew up with my Dad and his siblings in Highlands, NC and was a close friend of my Aunt, who still lives in Highlands. Below is the "To Kill a Mockingbird" trailer, complete with part of Collin's most famous scene.

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Monday, October 19, 2009

Favorite Movie Moments: Almost Famous

I heart this scene so much. Rewatching it just makes me smile.

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Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Email from David

After emailing David a Ghostbusters related article:

On Tue, Oct 6, 2009 at 8:27 AM, David Burch wrote:

Do you have a google news alert for Ghostbusters?


I didn't before, but I do now...

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Monday, October 05, 2009

G-Chat Convo with C-Line

Caroline: Omg Laura the 20oz bottles of coke zero are 30 cents at work

me: do you work in heaven?


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Saturday, October 03, 2009

Muppet Show Television Pitch

EMBED-Coolest TV Pitch Ever - Watch more free videos

Thank God they liked this pitch...where would we be today without the Muppet show?

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Terminator/ Back to the Future mash-up

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Saturday, September 26, 2009

G-Wood Orig.

I heart a League of Their Own, and I can understand why the little unicorn dog with cowboy boots might be tempted to draw a knife after such an argument. See more of these charming illustrations, and many Tegan and Sara, or is it (Sara and Tegan?) videos on her blog.

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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Don't Go Back to Rockville

So, as many of you know, I recently made the move to the greater DC area, more specifically Rockville, MD. I won't have cable or internet until this weekend, and I'm rarely able to get on the computer during work, which is why my blog presence has been non existent for the last few weeks. Anyway, in honor of my move, here's a nice song about my new town...

I'd say about 50% of my friends started singing this, or texted these lyrics to me when they found out where I was moving. Kudos 90's college radio nerds.

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One Year Old...

Today was Pop Cultured's one year anniversary!! God...have we been doing this thing for an entire year?

Where does the time go?

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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Fruity Marshmallow Krispies

This evening I was doing a little random link hopping on YouTube and ended up at my favorite childhood cereal commercial... Fruity Marshmallow Krispies. My love for the Krispies jingle is two-fold: 1) It's catchy as hell. In fact I'm singing it in my head as I type this. 2) It totally sounds like the announcer sings "lots of fruity marshmallow shit" about 6 seconds in and you really can't imagine how much I enjoyed that when I was seven.

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Wednesday, September 09, 2009

This makes me happy:

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Thursday, September 03, 2009

Survivor - Hugest Penises on Reality TV

I get that after 19 seasons, it's tough to come up with new ways to promote a series but really CBS? Is this the best you can do? There have already been four seasons with a cast of 20 survivors (don't judge me for knowing that) so that can't be used as justification for this campaign.

Based on this ad I can only assume that this season's twist is that all the guys are really hung. Come to think of it that might not be the worst idea for a season of Survivor.

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BTW, we won the '87 game against Clemson, woo!

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Saturday, August 22, 2009

Favorite Movie Moments: Sabrina

Sabrina is one of my all time favorite films. When I was little my mom rented it for us because she thought we would like the scene where Sabrina learns to crack an egg. We did enjoy that scene, as well as the rest of the film and to this day it's a movie that my entire family will watch together (awwww).

This is actually my mom's favorite scene, and mine too. Dancing on the indoor tennis court in formal wear with Bogey to "Isn't it Romantic" most definitely is romantic-- that Audrey Hepburn is one lucky gal.

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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I now know what to put under "Religion" in my facebook profile:

This is a fun VW ad. I'm not quite sure what it has to do with automobiles, but I'm pretty much a sucker for anything Big Lebowski related, so I'm thinking about going out and trading the Prius in for a Jetta.

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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

You know you love me, xoxo

OMFG. Actually there wasn't anything shocking or too exciting in that trailer so OMFG is kind of unnecessary, but frankly OMFG is kind of the obligatory response to anything Gossip Girl related so I went for it...

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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Favorite Movie Moments: Blues Brothers

I love this scene and its awesomeness speaks for itself.

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Coen Brothers Short: "World Cinema"

I saw this yesterday and kind of fell in love with it, though I would have chosen Rules of the Game myself.

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I always liked George.

This is one of those videos that I know like 3 people might actually watch, but I love it and it's my blog (well, half mine). Anyway, I'm a big fan of both George Harrison and Paul Simon and I love this particular performance of "Here Comes the Sun," and "Homeward Bound." I remember it from the Best of SNL: Music Specials and was always my favorite. I believe it was also referenced in the book Live from New York, which is awesome, if you haven't read it.

P.S. I'll give you an e-high five if you can tell me what movie this blog post title is referencing.

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Saturday, August 08, 2009

Favorite Movie Moments: Almost Famous

Almost Famous will always always be one of my favorite movies. I love the music, I love the characters, I love the story, etc... and it was one of the first movies that made me realize how much I love movies. Also, I have a weird thing for Cameron Crowe. That being said, this is one of my favorite scenes in the film. Like the entire soundtrack of Almost Famous, Tangerine is perfectly placed and compliments the film's final montage so well. So if you've forgotten this little piece of awesomeness, here you go:

Love it.

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Friday, August 07, 2009

Where the Wild Things Are Trailer.

I know that this is all over the Interwebs today, but it's possibly my favorite film related thing to happen to 2009, so it's being posted here as well. Enjoy :).

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Tribute to John Hughes

This is my favorite moment from any John Hughes film:

P.S. This is a great Hughes related story, even if you're not a big fan.

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Wednesday, August 05, 2009

500th Post: State Pride.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Thank You, South Carolina!
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorSpinal Tap Performance

I know it's all over the twitter and the facebook, but I had to post it somewhere, mostly because of the USC shout outs towards the end. GO COCKS. WOO!

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Monday, August 03, 2009

G-Wood Original

One of Girl Woodie's original pieces. via.

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Sunday, August 02, 2009


That's right everyone, it's that time of year again, Shark Week on the Discovery Channel!! I don't know why this is so exciting, but it really is--and made even more exciting by the fact that I can watch some of the shark related programming in High Definition.

Don't be put off by the fact that this video is from Family Guy. Whenever I watch it I laugh, but I kind of feel like Liz Lemon when she says "All right, that was a pretty good burn Patrice." I just say, "All right, that was a pretty good joke Seth..."

P.S. When Shark Week ends, remember the lessons it taught you, so like Tracy Jordan, you can "live every week like it's Shark Week."

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Saturday, August 01, 2009

Really American Historic Society?

I can't decide if my favorite part of this ad is the line comparing his white suit to the purity of his heart, or the woman affectionately tending to her MJ shrine...

I personally prefer Michael in his "Regal attire."

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Thursday, July 30, 2009

What I'm doing tonight...

It's very rare that Greenville gets a non-mainstream musical act that I actually enjoy, so I'm kind of excited about the prospect of seeing The Whigs at the Handlebar tonight...

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Mad Mii's

The Mad Men avatars have hit the blogosphere hard-- and though it looks like David and I might be a day late re: this trend, I can assure you that these were created like 2 days ago. So, Ben, I promise we aren't copying you-- not that you read our blog...

ANYWAY, these are accurate sketches of what David and I would look like in this wonderful world.

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Monday, July 27, 2009

The Prisoner Remake Rocks My World

If you've never experienced the wonderful insanity that is the '60s British TV series The Prisoner, well you should Netflix that shit right now. It's a psychedelic, paranoid, nonsensical mind-fuck that's not to be missed. This November, AMC is remaking the series as a 6-part miniseries. Following on the heels of Mad Men and Breaking Bad, I expect it to be nothing short of brilliant. Oh did I mention it stars Magneto and Jesus as Numbers 2 and 6 respectively?

"Who is Number 1?" "You are Number 6."

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Nuprin. Little, Yellow, Different.

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Another reason I heart Lady Gaga...

Her impeccable fashion sense...

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Phoenix, "1901"

This video is quite mesmerizing, and the song is currently one of my faves. So watch, listen, and love.

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David and Laura on Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

This conversation will serve as Pop Cultured's official Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince film review. Spoiler Alert.

D: Dude. The ending of Half-Blood Prince bummed me out
L: yeah
D: And the more I think about it the more I feel like they structured the entire movie wrong
L: I agree
D: The emphasis was put on all the wrong things
L: I couldn't understand what they were thinking
L: Annie never read the book and said she had no idea what was going on
D: Instead of being a history of Voldemort and Snape & a mystery about Horcruxes.... it was a teen boarding school romantic comedy with a weird subplot about a blonde dude oddly obsessed with a cabinet
L: yah

Convo continues after the jump!

L: and what the hell was the burrow scene?
D: ?!?
D: I don't know
L: I was like, dude…
D: Also... why keep explaining that Draco is sending stuff through the cabinet?
D: That seemed so unnecessary around the 8th time it happened
L: yes, it did
D: sigh
D: The more I think about it the less I like it
L: the scene with the magic of them putting things back in order at the Muggle’s house reminded me of Sorcerer's Stone
L: and I was like, whyyyyyyy
L: that 40 seconds could have gone to maybe elaborating on the fact that Snape was the half blood prince
D: I enjoy Slughorn... but there was way too much setup for so little payoff
L: yeah
D: Especially since the Horcruxes and the whole Half-Blood Prince thing were basically ignored as real mysteries
L: I know, what the hell
D: They didn't even cover that Snape was into Lily
D:That's SO important
L: was that in HBP?
L: I thought that was deathly hallows
D: Yeah. There are memories that Dumbledore shows Harry then
L: ah
D: When Harry is suspicious that Snape is helping Malfoy
D: Because in the book they don't show us what Malfoy is doing until the people come through
D: We never see the vanishing cabinet in Hogwarts
L: but even Snape explaining that Harry needs to close his mind in their final battle is so important
L: not just "I’m the half blood prince"
D: Amy was really pissed when we were driving home
D: Heh
L: hahaha
L: and on top of all that, it was just kind of boring
L: the battle and Dumbledore’s funeral might have at least put something interesting in there
D: The burrow scene, the weird Malfoy scenes, the Lavender stuff, the subway scene
D: There are so many things that could be trimmed or cut completely
L: yessss
D: I'm glad we're in agreement
L: I mean, how could they manage to not make ME cry when Dumbledore died
D: I ALWAYS cry at that part in the book
L: I can't believe there hasn't been more of a fan backlash actually
D: Leland was really angry about it?
L: hahaha
L: shocking
D: Harry not being frozen killed me
L: yeah, I mean, come on
L: knowing Harry, he totally wouldn’t just obey
D: I love how the Burrow scene is basically the story of how Harry, through recklessness, burns down the Weasley's home
D: and then there's no repercussions
D: for that or Malfoy getting gutted
L: I know
L: they didn’t even care about the burrow
L: I knew Amy would be pissed when you said she was a literalist
D: She was amazed that she didn't cry at Dumbledore’s death either
L: I mean, I cried when Sirius died, so I know it’s not the lack of surprise
D: That's EXACTLY what she said
L: haha
L: I'm glad you got to use "that’s what she said" legitimately
D: Me too
D: Made my day right there.
L: hahahaha

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Monday, July 20, 2009

I didn't expect much from this video...

...but it's pretty awesome. Trust me on this one...and don't let the Rick Astleyness fool you.

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Friday, July 17, 2009

Walter Cronkite, 1916-2009

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Question of the Day

I've been wondering this since 1996... What is wrong with Skeet Ulrich's neck? 

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Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince Trailer

I'm finally going to see this today!

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Thursday, July 16, 2009

No More "No Boundaries"

American Idol Season 8 winner's coronation song, "No Boundaries" has been removed from the Idols Live tour after only three shows due to "poor audience response." During my Idol Finale recap I referred to "No Boundaries" as "the worst song in the history of music" and a "Musical Holocaust." So my heartfelt thanks goes out to the audiences in Portland, Tacoma, and Vancouver. You really took a bullet for the rest of humanity.

Below is footage of Kris' performance in which he proves that while he can "weather the hurricanes" a good chunk of the audience is going to use this song as an opportunity to hit the restroom. Seriously. You can see one of the exits directly in front of him in the video.

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It's the Smoooooke!

This has got to be the best YouTube trend in some time. The Gregory Brothers combine auto tune, news footage, and green-screen to create these bizarre music videos. I can't stop watching them and have even started singing this one throughout the day.

"The more produce we come across, the more problems we see."

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Always be prepared...

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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

David and Laura on nothing in particular:

L: do you like fish sticks?
D: Actually no
L: me either
D: Well thats, one thing we've got
L: also, breakfast at tiffany's
D: *guitar solo*
L: hehe

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He'll always be Cedric Diggory to me...

Most people see this guy and think, "Hey, there's Edward Cullen." I prefer to remember him as Hufflepuff dream boat, Cedric Diggory.

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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Mad Men Season 2

The second season of Mad Men came out on DVD today!! So light up your Lucky Strikes, pour your Scotch and get ready to swoon over Don Draper, (or Betty if you swing that way).The third season begins August, 16 on AMC.

If you haven't yet started watching Mad Men, here's a link to my favorite scene from the first season (sadly it was unembeddable).

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Right Now

This lovely product came up at lunch today, and my lunching buddies had no recollection of this advertisement. I thought I'd post it in case anyone else had trouble remembering the most melodramatic soda commercial of all time...

I also remember the SNL parody for Crystal Gravy, but sadly the YouTube and Hulu gods didn't enjoy it quite like me...

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If you recall from a much earlier post, I actually own one of these "Lumos" wands, which, unfortunately was not purchased at Ollivander's due to his capture at the hands of the death eaters, but rather Barnes and Noble. You better believe this little wand will be with me in the movie theater on Friday. My movie going companion is purchasing Harry Potter glasses, so yeah, we'll be those people.

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Monday, July 13, 2009

Labyrinth Rules.

After discussing a choice scene from Requiem for a Dream with David last night, I realized that we had never posted anything from or about the movie Labyrinth. Since it was like, the only movie I watched as a youngen and it not only has Muppet like creatures, but also DAVID BOWIE, our failure to post seems almost epic.

When Rebecca (aka GS/ Soul Glo), David, Megan, Woody and I were in Film theory together, we always tried to fit Labyrinth into the “discussion,” which never really worked out—it just didn’t fit thematically with Shoot the Piano Player. Also, King Jareth didn’t really have the murderous gaze…or did he? (Annnndd that’s pretty much all I remember about film theory…). I also tried at least once to get Labyrinth into the discussion at the Flaherty, though that attempt was in vain as well.

I have yet to meet a Labyrinth hater, which makes the film unique in and of itself. The song from the film is pretty incredible as well—the call and answer between Bowie and Muppet is amazing and ohhhh so imitatable, which is why I’m posting it here!.

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Harry Potter Week!

In honor of the LONG awaited release of the 6th Harry Potter film (and because I am so excited about this film it's not even funny), Pop Cultured will be featuring Harry Potter themed posts every day this week. Yay!!

The best way to start this wondrous week is with a video that will stay with you all day...

P.S. Who else is re-reading Half Blood Prince at the moment?

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Sunday, July 12, 2009

University of Andy

David and I don't get a chance to write about Weeds too much--mostly because I don't think the blog was in working order when the last season aired--but a new season is 4 or 5 episodes in, so I might as well mention it.

Since Pop Cultured seems to be in the habit of just writing a few sentences and posting a video, and since I don't think I could really write anything very intuitive about this season (everyone knows the Botwins are pretty effed right now), I'm gonna post a pretty funny Weeds related video. This is one of a series called the "University of Andy," and features everyone's favorite Uncle, Andy Botwin.

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Saturday, July 11, 2009

Greatest Scene in Cinematic History

I stand by the title of this post 100%.

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Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Nostalgia sells...

In the last week I've purchased two Wii games for no reason other than the nostalgic appeal of the titles, "Punch Out" and "Ghostbsuters." Luckily, it worked out well for me, as both games happen to be very fun.

Punch Out and Ghostbusters are both staples of my 80s childhood. In fact, we still have our original NES "Mike Tyson's Punch Out," and I believe it still works. Unfortunately, I was never able to beat the first opponent, Glass Joe on the NES version--and if you've ever played that game, you know how pathetic that last statement really is...

I'd go into my love for Ghostbusters, but I've made that pretty clear to anyone that has ever met me, and I'm pretty sure my love for the film is well documented on the blog.

I find it amusing that the purchasing of these 2 games coincided with my move home-- there seems to be some kind of weird regression going on in the life of Laura right now...

Anyway, I highly suggest both of these games. That's all really.

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Monday, July 06, 2009

Robert MacNamara 1916-2009

Former Secretary of Defense and inventor of the seat belt, Robert MacNamara died today. The above trailer is for the Errol Morris film, The Fog of War, which is about MacNamara and is a definite must see.

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Star Wars in a Notebook


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Saturday, July 04, 2009

Today is our Independence day.

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Old Movie Trailers: Dr. Strangelove: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

David and I are watching this right now. Happy 4th of July!!

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An oldie, but a goodie...

I realized today that I never actually posted this video on the blog when I discovered it. But I revisited it today and decided that it NEEDED to be shared. It's not really pop culturey, but it kind of is, because what isn't?

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Thursday, July 02, 2009

Gummi Bears

I've been buying gummi bears an awful lot lately for some weird reason, so obviously I've been singing this song continuously:

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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

MJ, gone but not forgotten.

As a friend pointed out to me via twitter, it is bizarre that a blog that has the amazing title “Pop Cultured” failed to post about MJ. Well, when the shocking events transpired last week, I was making sure 170 filmmakers, cinephiles, programmers, (yada, yada, yada…) were being sufficiently entertained, so I didn’t get a chance to reflect. But, said friend had a good point, so I figured it was better late than never.

Since nostalgia is a constant theme in our posts, I think this one should focus on all the good times I had with Michael… Just to be clear, Michael was never there with me—I want that to be PERFECTLY clear.

My Michael memories after the jump!!

I definitely grew up listening to the Jackson 5, and Thriller was a constant throughout the years, in fact it was my sister's first CD ever. We listened to it all the time—it’s really very amusing to see an 8-year-old girl recite the Vincent Price section of that song. I vividly remember watching the “making of” the "Thriller" video with our babysitter, Frances--John Landis and all. I really didn’t believe that Michael from the beginning of the video and Zombie Michael were one and the same, it took some convincing from my older brother. I also think I had to be convinced that Thriller Michael was the same person as “Black or White” Michael.

For some reason, all of MJ’s major television appearances, comebacks, and video premiers take up space in my brain. Some of this space is of course inhabited by the famous Diane Sawyer interview. My favorite part of said interview is Michael saying “Oh! Liz is here?!?” Sadly, I don’t think Liz Taylor was there, but he was so excited, and it’s something my sister says to make me laugh when I’m in a bad mood.

I also remember the premiere of the "Scream" video, I mean, who doesn’t? Amiright? MTv made SUCH a huge deal about it, it was total insanity, but kind of awesome. I miss that kind of build up for a video premiere, come on MTv. I digress.

The insanity that was the Martin Bashir interview sticks out in my head, as does the hilarious South Park episode that followed. I named a cooler “Blanket” in college because of this episode, which was loosely based on the craziness revealed in the Bashir interview. I’d go further to explain why my friends and I named a cooler, but it’s a long, uninteresting story that has little to do with Michael. I digress again. Sorry.

ANYWAY, because Annie had the Thriller CD, we listened to it all the time in the car—and of course learned all the words to every song, including “The Girl is Mine,” the definitive McCartney/Jackson collaboration. Annie always sang Michael’s verses, and I always sang Paul's. I say “sang” as if this doesn’t still happen—I don’t know who I’m kidding with that BS. I have to say that this is my most special Michael related memory, because my favorite moments with my sister are when we’re both in the mood to sing this silly song.

Anyway, I’ve always been something of a Michael fan. His place in music and pop culture history is undeniable, and until I wrote this, I didn’t realize how ever-present his persona and music was in my life. So, cheers to you, Michael.

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Friday, June 19, 2009

Flaherty Seminar 2009

For the third summer in a row, I've been lucky enough to work at, and attend the Robert Flaherty Film seminar. This year we're trying new types of outreach via twitter, facebook, and various blogs, so I've volunteered POPCULTURED to be one of the blogs. I actually don't know that I'll be able to write anything of substance this week, but I'll give it a shot--I know at least a few of our readers will be interested in the films screening, and the filmmakers attending. Below is a description of this year's seminar:

"Witnesses, Monuments, Ruins"
"Moving images have become the most common mode of relating to the events of our times – whether catastrophic wars, political change, or precious moments of everyday life. These images capture the words and gestures of those who speak before a camera. They observe the monuments and ruins left by the past. And they also interpret, intervene in, and re-invent the testimonial act itself.

The 2009 Flaherty Seminar will explore the act of bearing witness - bringing memory, experience, and history into the present - through an eclectic range of topics and formal approaches, in works from the Middle East, Asia, Latin America, Europe, and the United States."

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Friday, June 12, 2009


For those of you who have been reading PopCultured from the beginning, you might remember a post I wrote about my FAVORITE blogger in the entire universe—save for maybe, Kristin Morris. Anyway, tonight, said blogger, AKA Dan Hopper was performing with his sketch comedy group at the UCB theater, and because Mr. Hopper blogged about it, I WAS THERE. Well needless to say, I came home from a long day of work, freshened up my make up, then headed back downtown 150 blocks to be exact, to see my hero in person. The rest of my story, and a picture AFTER THE JUMP!!

My friend Brooke was kind enough to join me on my mission, and we ended up getting to the theater embarrassingly early—we were the first people in line. About 10 minutes later a small group of hipsteresque kids joined us in line, and through my eavesdropping abilities, I deduced that the guy standing next to me was none other than Dan Hopper’s Brother. Well, I decided not to act on my first impulse, because frankly that would have probably scared him to death, and ruined any shot of me getting close to meeting my idol. So I played it cool, and didn’t say anything, but I was super excited to be standing near this kid.

Moving on—Brooke and I finally get into the theater, buy beer and sit in optimal beer getting seats. The moment I sit down, I see Dan Hopper on stage, and I liken it to seeing a sort of holy thing. Well, no not really—but still, it was amazing, and I got all excited and did my hand shaking excited dance like I do when I see previews for long anticipated movies. If you know me, I’m sure you’ve seen it. But seriously, this was it, I was in the same room with this guy—I was going to find a way to meet him, no matter what.

He started his show, and at one point he was like 3 feet away from me, and I was about to have a fit—but again, I kept it cool so as not to embarrass myself to death. This turned out to be a smart move—his show ended early and another show started, because of this little ounce of luck, Mr. Hopper was in the audience when the whole show ended.

After imbibing three Yuenglings within the hour I told Brooke that my goal was to shake Dan’s hand and possibly get a picture. When we saw him, my liquid courage kicked in a little bit, and I sheepishly approached him, tapped his shoulder and said “Hi, I don’t want to sound creepy, but you’re my favorite blogger and I really wanted to meet you.” He was nothing but kind to me and was nice enough to pose for a picture. I don’t really know what I said after that, because I was so starstruck, there was some babbling going on for sure…But that being said, I was on Cloud nine from that point on, and my 150 block local subway train ride flew by because of my fantastic evening.

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Thursday, June 11, 2009

Karma is a Bitch.

Maybe it's schadenfreude, but I couldn't help but be happy about Miss California being dethroned.This puts one point in the plus column for the Donald, as far as I'm concerned. I can't help but imagine her screaming "Whyyyyyyy, whyyyyy?!?" Nancy Kerrigan style.

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Monday, June 08, 2009

Goodbye, Muppet style...

Oy vey, the last few weeks have been super crazy. I moved out of a house, participated in my brother's wedding festivities, prepared for a month long trip to the big city, and last but not least, moved away from Columbia, SC.

Whenever I leave NYC, or really anywhere, I think of this song and it makes me tear up a little--not gonna lie. Anyway, I thought it'd be a pretty appropriate song to post after my move to G'ville.

Anddd, to all of my Cola pals, I miss you already :).

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Saturday, May 30, 2009

Real Housewives New York Reunion Cartoon.


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Thursday, May 28, 2009

No Muppets here, but...

We claim on our site to be "the #1 Muppet/Same-sex Marriage Activism/American Idol/SNL blog on the web," so the current events of this week made me want to post this video:

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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

David and Laura on Laura annoying David

This conversation actually makes me look like a crazy person.

D: Can you imagine how much more fun we'll have?
L: It's true Lefou
D: You say that daily now
L: I know
D: and I found myself repeating it in an OCD fashion when I woke up this morning
D: Like it was stuck in my head like a song
L: hahahahahhahahahahahhaha
D: I got up this morning and I randomly said "It's true Lefou"
L: It's true Lefou, and I've got my sights set on that one...
L: What the inventors daughter?
D: Yes. I ran through the whole thing
L: ...She's the one, the lucky girl I'm going to marry...
L: But, she's...
D: and it's all your fault
L: ...the most beautiful girl in town...
L: ...that makes her the best, and don't I deserve the best?
D: I figured you'd enjoy inspiring that bit of insanity
L: it was inspiring
L: it inspires me to annoy you

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Buffy sans Joss--FAIL

I read this article today and almost had a conniption fit...

Apparently Fran Rubel Kuzui, the director of the 1992 P.O.S. film, Buffy the Vampire Slayer wants to revamp (no pun intended), the franchise sans Joss Whedon. Doubleyou Tee Eff. Needless to say, with the California Supreme Court upholding prop 8, and this piece of news, I'm just kind of filled with rage right now.

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Saturday, May 23, 2009

Remember this Douchebag?

I found this early 90s Encyclopedia Britannica on youtube and was struck with a very powerful memory of hating this guy from a very young age. An aside, isn't it weird to imagine having a home encyclopedia as your primary means of researching things? Bizarre.

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Friday, May 22, 2009

David and Laura on Laura's friendships

L: Annie asked why the gays gravitate towards me
D: Hah
D: It's just the nerdy gays
L: yes, that does seem to be a theme
D: There's a whole group of gays with overplucked eyebrows and fake tans that aren't drawn to you

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Thursday, May 21, 2009

Another reason I heart Dan Hopper...

AD WIZARDS: Children Confused By Gay Marriage, Everything
By Dan Hopper

It’s hard to believe
this ad is actually real, but I don’t think anyone could’ve written a funnier anti-gay-marriage parody, so I’m inclined to just accept it.

The basic message: If gays are allowed to marry, children will be confused. And we can’t have things in society that confuse children. While we’re at it, we’re axing the F.D.I.C., cancer research, quantum physics, and the majority of the judicial system, because children cannot even BEGIN to understand those things, and I’m sure as hell not gonna waste my time explaining it to them. As we all know, children are innately born with the knowledge that being straight is the only correct thing, so why would we allow gay marriage and invite all these annoying, slowly-worded questions?

via BWE

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David and Laura on Special K and Television pitches

D: So remember how I was allergic to Special K with berries?
D: I had a weird reaction to Regular Special K today
L: weird
D: I know
L: the newest trailer for "Land of the Lost" makes me actually want to see it
D: I've actually heard good things
L: I do love some Danny McBride
D: And I love Sleestaks
D: I wish we could get a return to the fantasy/sci-fi sitcoms of the 60s and 70s
L: Dammit man I'm a Doctor, not a time traveler!
D: I'd love a single-camera office like show but with a genie or a witch
D: and the same style of mundane humor
L: hahaha
D: That's actually a great pitch
D: Or my Special K reaction is crippling my brain
L: hahaha
D: or both

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

American Idol Top 2 - Retreads, Producer's Pick, and Worst Song Ever

It's the end of the road folks. The last episode of Idol voting and the first half of what will surely be a bonkers finale, filled with pimping, random cameos, the return of Shrill Rounds and that blind guy that turned out to be funny. Here's hoping Megan Joy gets a song about birds tomorrow night.

Unfortunately, none of that exciting stuff will happen in this episode (except the pimping). Instead we get the worst episode of every season of Idol... the top 2 performance episode. How I wish the finale allowed the final 2, who should theoretically be at their best, to interpret and change up three new songs of their own choosing. Instead we get one retread, one horrific pick by Simon Fuller, and Kara has kindly written the worst song in the history of music for the contestants to bleat!

This is American Idol? And this.... is my last recap, after the jump.

Adam Lambert - "Mad World"
The upshot of this performance is that for anyone who failed to set their DVR to go long and missed it the first time... it's new to you. Unless, like me, you just looked it up on YouTube. My first reaction is... that coat... really? It's very "Neo Sings." The vocal is impeccable but I kind of have to wonder if the theatrics on this don't just distract from the song. I mean... there's lots of smoke but he's just wandering around the stage aimlessly. Given what's coming up, this was his one chance to rock and pull a full on Tranny Squeal and I find myself really disappointed. Randy gives him "an A+ on that one, dude, an A for Adam." Kara talks but I'm still not over "No Boundaries" yet so I ignore her. Paula is "unbelievably proud." Simon thinks "it was a little bit over-theatrical" and it "reminded [him] a little bit of Phantom of the Opera" and he could not be more right. If Adam had a boat and a lantern he wouldn't be able to stop himself from belting out "Music of the Night," though frankly calling something "over-theatrical" is basically just acknowledging that the performer is Adam. 

Kris Allen - "Ain't No Sunshine"
This is a smart move on Kris' part because he doesn't have overwhelming expectations on this song, it lets him play the piano, and there's a good chance he can top the vocal from his first performance. He effing slays it! While Adam looked like he was confused about his blocking at a high school play... Kris looks like he's giving a concert. Randy "hopes the Lakers win tonight." Kara says that Kris "has a way of forming an intimate bond with everyone in the audience." Somewhere from the audience Matt Giraud screams at Kris, "Run! Run!" Paula says he "awakens the spirit in all of us." What? Oh apparently he does it by "Allen-izing" songs. And we're moving on. 

Adam Lambert - "A Change is Gonna Come"
Simon Fuller has inexplicably chosen this song for Adam. I have two problems with this song. It doesn't fit his style at all and it's so weighted down with the history of the Civil Rights movement that a white glam rocker singing it on Idol just seems weird. If they'd every acknowledged that Adam is openly gay or made that a part of his narrative on the show then maybe this could be a song tying those movements together and making a statement... creating a real moment for him. Instead I can barely listen to the performance because this selection is just SO odd. Adam does a good job with it, though it doesn't sound like him and marks the second subdued performance on his part and really all I wanted out of tonight's six performances was just one fierce Tranny Squeal to make America uncomfortable. Adam seems to be resisting that side of himself (the entertaining side) as much as possible tonight to avoid scaring away Gokey voters that are looking for someone to support. Randy says Adam "can sing his face off." She Who Will Not Be Named blathers on and prepares to climb mountains or some such. Paula stands up and goes bug fuck crazy, twirling an imaginary lasso. 

Kris Allen - "What's Going On"
Kris pulls out the guitar and further pushes this singer/songwriter image he's gunning for tonight, to further distinguish himself from Adam. The arrangement is a little mellow. There's bongos. There's lots of side-jaw on Kris' part. The vocal is great though, simple with just enough flourishes to show that he's got some range. During the close-up I can only think I'm glad he didn't shave for performance night. He's so much hotter with stubble. That stubble could be the thing that pushes him to win. Randy calls it "light for this big ole room." Kara hangs herself in shame. Paula says she "knows what's gong on... you tore that song up and made Marvin Gaye proud!" Simon says it "was too laid back for a night like this." Meh. Simon needs to learn that pop music is no longer Celine Dion and Mariah Carey. I think what Kris did could easily be an arena concert now. 

So here it is people. It's time to confront Kara's coronation song, "No Boundaries," the worst song ever written. Midway through Adam's performance I lost it, with full on out-of-control laughter, listening to the lyrics and I figured we should just deal with them upfront: 

With every step you climb another mountain
With every breath it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes 
To get to that one thing

Someone is getting saddled with this as their first single and frankly that makes me wish Danny Gokey was going to be our American Idol. It's rare that you get songs about giants asphyxiating during recurrent hurricanes. Also "You can go higher! You can go deeper!" being screamed by Adam Lambert is something only a small portion of the population was hoping to get out of tonight's show. With that said... how did they do with what they were given? 

Adam Lambert - "No Boundaries"
God this is so difficult. He misses a LOT of notes but keeps a pretty good hold on the song overall until he drifts off into what sound like random screeches towards the end. As soon as it's over... I start feeling the pain that comes with knowing I have to listen to it again. Randy again says "you can sing anything" and is kind enough to not add "and this song really tested the boundaries of that idea." Paula says "adjectives can't express what Adam brought to season eight." Simon correctly mocks the "mountains and hurricanes" and calls Adam "a worldwide star" in the making. 

Kris Allen - "No Boundaries"
Kris starts way too high and keeps getting further outside his range. He also drops a whole line out of the chorus and it's not even the one about hurricanes. I would have mad respect for him tossing that out. God this whole performance is painful. He seems out of breath and I really think something's gone horribly wrong here. The judges all seem to agree and try to push people to vote based on the whole season and not on this one, horrific, performance. 

Who should win? I think no matter who wins we should all take a moment to be thankful that no matter what the winner isn't Danny Gokey. I voted repeatedly for Adam. I think there's a strong case for both of them depending on what styles of music you're into. Personally, I want a gay Idol. Also I'm going to see the Idols Live Tour this summer and I'd really like Adam to end the show. 

Who will win? This is WAY too close to call but my immediate thought after the show was that Kris will very narrowly take it. I think he'll pick up the majority of Gokey's fans. Adam wasn't at his best and Kara's Musical Holocaust aside, Kris was really on his game. 

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David and Laura on Lady Gaga

L: Blah, I have such a girl crush on Lady Gaga
D: Hah
D: Woodie can talk you through that
L: Heh

Sorry to do this twice in a row, but it'll be a daily thing for a while...I know how everyone has missed PopCultured popping up in their Google Readers and RSS feeds! Also, I'm pretty sure there'll be an AI and Glee recap to look forward to today!!

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

David and Laura on Vengeance Demons

The initial "Mission Statement," if you will, for this blog was to put forth an idea of what it was like to hang out with Laura and David. In that spirit, and much against my co-blogger's wishes (I'm sure), I'm going to start posting excerpts from some of our nerdier and more amusing conversations with more frequency--cause, come on, who wouldn't want to read more gems like this classic?

With that said, here's the conversation that inspired my revamped desire to post these things:

L: “Selfless” Anya’s make-up is much scarier than Anya’s make-up in “The Wish”
D: Really?
D: I tend to think the other way around
D: But maybe because you only see her for a second in “The Wish”
L: Haha
L: yeah
L: It just seems much more severe to me in “Selfless”
D: This is a conversation no one should ever have
L: I know
L: and I think we should post it
D: No
L: please?
D: No
L: awwwww
D: That's a dealbreaker, lady
L: Hahahah
L: Maybe I should start a Tumblr of David and Laura convos that you never find out about
D: I mean you could, but it would only compete with the website we already have
L: Hahaha
D: There's really not that large a market for fans of us
D: Pretty much just people who know us, like gay marriage and the Muppets, or hate Danny Gokey

Sorry David.

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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

American Idol Top 3 - Judge's & Contestant's Choice

It's the time kids. Top 3, where the producers bring out the big guns to help get rid of contestants they don't want in the finale... Judge's Choice song selections. Though I doubt anything will ever top Syesha's song last year, a completely unknown dance-pop song from the soundtrack of Happy Feet, Hit Me Up. Let's see how the judges throw Kris under the bus and what they can say to push Chokey Karaoke Gokey into the finals.

This.... is my American Idol recap after the jump! 

Danny Gokey - "Dance Little Sister"  (Paula's Choice) : Danny gets a txt informing him that he's going to be singing a Terence Trent D'arby song and... he doesn't know it. I feel for him just for a moment and... I'm past it. Paula explains that this song is "magical" just like Danny's voice. Yeah.

It's really hard to judge a performance of a song you're not familiar with. Any decisions made by the contestant in terms of arrangement can't really be considered. His dancing though... I can judge that. Ugh. Nothing is as painfully awkward as the weird scatting, call and answer thing he's got going on with a saxophone player in the middle. Sigh. Randy says this was "the way to jump it off tonight." Kara likes that the song keeps him in his "money spot" and that there was too much gyrating from him in the dancing. Heh. What's she's really saying there is, "I'd still hit it but you're no Matt Giraud." Simon says the dancing was "desperate" and that he didn't like the "toy saxophone solo in the middle." 

Kris Allen - "Apologize" (Randy & Kara's Choice) : Kris gets his txt and asks the thousands of screaming girls in front of him if they want to hear him sing it on Tuesday. And their wombs all simultaneous explode. His performance is perfectly serviceable, nothing particularly Kris about it. His falsetto is weak. Meh. At least he's pretty. Randy & Kara wanted him to rearrange it, calling it "competent." Paula calls him out on a "bum note that was loud." Simon chastises Kara that for choosing a song for him and then blaming him for doing the song. Then insane judge bickering ensues. On the upside... there was less time for throwing Kris under the bus, which they shockingly didn't do much of. Agreeing with the judges blows.  

Adam Lambert - "One" (Simon's Choice) : Simon says this is one of his favorite songs in the world and that Bono said he'd be honored for Adam to sing it. This starts out so beautifully and then devolves into the most unnecessary Tranny Screeching ever. This was such a clear chance for Adam to just sing a song without the intense flourishes and I kind of wish the judges would rip him a new one for that. Not everything requires sticking your tongue out while the camera does a full 360 around your head. Paula critiques, "You have no idea how miserable my life is right now... sitting next to [Simon] gloating." "It may sound a little bit biased but I thought that was a brilliant song choice," says Simon. Yeah. This show is about singing.

Danny Gokey - "You Are So Beautiful": Ugh. This song choice for Gokey brings back the intense hate. Ryan queens out while describing how all the young girls in the audience "awww" at it's mention. HATE! Every time he does anything like this I can't get away from thinking this is a really calculated move to remind people his wife died. It strikes me as so skeezy and manipulative. The vocals are solid though and if I close my eyes and forget who he is for a moment I can imagine my Grandmother listening to this on an adult contemporary station. That's the only way I see Danny making a non-Christian music album... if he targets the "Quiet Storm" radio show demographic. Randy says that Danny shows he can "really, really, really sing." Kara calls it "stunning." Paula says it was a "beautiful, beautiful perFORMANCE" in a really awkward way that sounds like "farm dance." 

Kris Allen - "Heartless": Bias alert! I got SO excited when I heard Kris was doing this song. I love the original and I love dramatic rearrangements. Kris is on the stage alone with just his acoustic guitar and it's fan-fucking-tastic. This is exactly the kind of game-changer he needed to have a shot at getting into the final 2. Gokey went so middle of the road tonight that there's no way the judges can't recognize that what he's doing here is bold, innovative, and risky. Randy calls it "one of the toughest voting nights in the whole year of this show" and that it's "better than the original." Kara calls it "bold, brave, and fearless." Randy throws in a few "hot, hot"s while Kara blathers on. Paula "commends [him], bravo." Simon says he had written Kris out of the competition but "that has all changed after that performance" and it's SO TRUE. 

Adam Lambert - "Cryin'":  Adam comes out to do some "early Aerosmith" for Kara. Part of me likes to believe Adam picked this song as an insult to Gokey and his scream of doom last week, but somehow I doubt it. I'm not a huge fan of this song, but Adam is clearly having fun and that translates. Though... what the fuck?!?! the backup singer is screaming louder than he is and she's off key and it nearly brings down the whole first half of the song. Whenever he's alone it sounds great but whenever he tries to harmonize with her it's BAD. Thankfully she drops out early and we get plenty of fierce, 18-note Tranny Squeals! The performance is great but not at the level of insane greatness he's reached before. At this point Adam's greatest competition is the insane expectations people have for him. Randy, Kara, and Paula give him crazy amounts of praise. Simon points out that people need to vote for him. 

Who Should Go Home?: Uh, Danny Gokey

Who Will Go Home?: I can't say I'd be shocked by any result. The Adam/Danny, dark/light, homo/Chrisitan widower finale has be pre-planned from the beginning, but I think Kris did everything he could tonight to upset that. I'm going to say... the universe loves me and we finally put the Go in Gokey. 

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Monday, May 11, 2009

A night in the life of Amy J. in NYC...

My dear friend Amy is subject to very odd things happening to her, which is great for her friends, because she's a great writer, and at least once a month we get crazy emails telling us these stories. My favorite is when a Cabbie threw a Poland Spring bottle full of urine at her head for not getting out of the cab quickly enough.

We got one such email today, and I feel the need to share it with you, my readers, b/c it's awesome.

Omg. Last night I got in a cab to go home and I got the craziest cab driver on the planet. This man tried to make me write a story about him and he forceabley handed me multiple religious tracts and a DVD about himself (he claims one of them is gonna be at Sundance) and he calls himself "Rolling for Jesus" (see attached photo)...he did not stop preaching to me (or talking about himself and all that he does to help others) - he also gives all of his passengers toy to play with in the back (sketch) and pizza and or garlic knots (which he offered to me like 3x) (also sketch) --- and he had 200 bagels in his trunk. FACT. He tried to give me a dozen, but I just wanted to get out of the car b/c even though I am sure he is trying to do a nice thing and help less fortunate people, it was all very bizzaro. Apparently he owns 2 cabs and has a huge house already paid for in Williamsburg, so he just does this for fun...and if you can't pay him in full it's ok to give him whatever you have.

DUDE. This guy is so bogus.

HOW/WHY do these things happen to me????

For further info on said cab driver, click here.

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Sunday, May 10, 2009

In honor of Mother's day, an email from Mom

So last night I received this email from my mother, subject: "Star Trek."

Hope you're doing something fun tonight, but if you're home there is something about Star Trek on the History Channel. It's about Christie's Auction House getting ready for an auction of Star Trek stuff. They looked at episodes and matched up the costumes and props etc. You would like it! MOM

I'm glad my mother has accepted me as the nerd that I am. Also, the Star Trek movie was incredible. Live long and prosper.

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Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Danny Gokey's "Dream On" Screech

For those of you who didn't see last night's Idol, here's the most annoying sound in the world. Any Gokey fans out there want to step up and tell me I'm wrong about this? No seriously... I just want to see someone try to defend this.

And scene!

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You Freudian Slut!

I didn't know these existed... a YouTube compilation video of funny slip-ups that's actually funny.


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American Idol Top 4 - Rock Week!

Are you ready to rock?!? Idol isn't as Seacrest explains that for the first time the finalists haven't had a dress rehearsal, because one of the giant neon Idol signs exploded and fell down. This should be interesting as it means for once the judges will have to critique only the performances they're watching now instead of the dress rehearsal they normally take notes on. Anyone else expecting a massive Kara fail? Oh everyone? Moving along then.

Slash is the mentor and even he is like "Yeah. Who would think I'd end up on this show?" But, alas, even Slash needs a little publicity now and then. He's a badass throughout. I have to admit. When I heard that they were doing Rock Week I never expected it to be filled with so many actual rock songs. Seriously. It's like a Guitar Hero concert for tweens up in here.

Who sucked? (Danny) Who rocked? (Adam, almost literally with his cock out... those pants!) Find out after the jump. This........................ is my American Idol recap!

Adam Lambert - "Whole Lotta Love": Led Zepelin on American Idol. Wah?!? Slash calls Adam "easy" and I giggle. Adam wants to "come out and kill it" and he comes out with some serious jewelry on. Also, he's some new orangey color. Is that makeup? The vocals are spot on. He doesn't stray too far from the original, though it's a return to the crotch-thrusting intense, tranny sexuality that made "Ring of Fire" so awkward and amazing all at once. He finishes off with a tranny squeal and face it... he's got this shit wrapped up. It was a great performance and I got so wrapped up in it I didn't come up with any snark. I mean... the necklace was insane, but wonderfully Adam insane. Kara calls him a "rock god" and goes crazy and starts scream "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" Who's her favorite now? I'm confused. Simon says the performance was "a little understated."
Pronosis: Uh. Yeah. He's safe and he's the only one.

Allison Iraheta - "Cry Baby": Allison's made a trip to Adam's hair dresser, so they've reach a new level in their fag/hag relationship apparently. Overall she does justice to Janis, which is not an easy thing to do. Sometimes her upper register sounds a little shreiky. But overall she's in control of the song and the stage and I like it. While listening, I think to myself this is what her album should be. I'm such an Allison fantard. I started to write that her voice is so rich and textured and I love it and it's true but I feel like a dork for typing it. Randy says she can "sing her face off" but he "didn't love this." Kara says that Allison needs to be doing "bluesy rock" and she should have sung "Piece of My Heart." Paula thinks that "if they ever do a biopic on Janis Joplin, [she's] got the role" and Allison very politely laughs. Also, Jenna Maroney is Jackie Jormp-Jomp, thank you very much. Simon thinks she had "complete confidence" but wasn't "very original." Allison talks back some and it's awkward and Ryan sends us to commercial.
Prognosis: She should be safe but she isn't.

Danny & Kris - "Renegade": It's our first Idol duet and it's... not really a duet song. Danny & Kris sound good during the harmonies but separately this isn't really a song for either of them and they mostly just awkwardly stand there holding the mic stands, bobbing up and down. It's intensely karaoke. I like that someone in hair and makeup gave Danny slightly more pointy hair because it's more "rock." It's a shouty mess towards the end and let's just all pretend that didn't happen. Randy likes the harmonies as well. Kara says there were "pitchy moments" and says she doesn't think they could hear themselves. Heh. P0wned by Kara! Simon says that "Danny was better than Kris." Which... okay? 
Prognosis: The scripted throwing of Kris under the bus has begun! 

Kris Allen - "Come Together": Kris plays guitar with Slash in rehearsal and it made him "want to pee [his] pants." Heh. Totally understandable. The crunchier guitars throughout this version are fun. Sadly they drown out Kris' vocals a bit. He sounds pretty good, jams on his guitar, and looks like he's having fun. We get some side-jaw screams. Overall I think it's a solid performance, though I have to admit, I'm pretty fond of Come Together and that's got to be a factor. Randy appreciates him picking something so he can "still be Kris Allen" and likes what he did on his guitar. Kara calls him "the softer side of rock" and it "wasn't a great performance." She also says he's "trying too hard." Fuck you, Kara. You're the queen of trying too hard. Simon says "It was rather like eating ice for lunch. It leaves you with nothing to remember afterwards." *sigh* 
Prognosis: They want his ass gone before the finals. 

Danny Gokey - "Dream On": Holy. Living. Fuck. It's nothing but love for the readers of this blog that propelled me to watch this performance again. I've had a lot of issues with Danny throughout this competition. I think he's smug and annoying and I find it offensive the way he let his wife's death be used by a FOX reality show to propel himself to stardom, but this performance is worse than all of that. Slash calls him "gifted" and Danny thinks he can go for "bigger things" with this performance. First of all... why is he wearing guido jewelry, a collared shirt with a vest, and pinstripe pants to do Aerosmith? It starts off okay... a little shouty... a little gross but not terrible. Then there's the strobe lights that start some impromptu scatting! Oh sweet Jesus. The strobes won't stop and now there's a key change and SINGING FAIL! I've had better performances while drunk at 3am at karaoke. My ears start to bleed and now he's screaming.... and he missed that note completely. The strobes are getting faster and now he's trying to mix it up by hitting every note and he gets down on one knee while holding the mic stand like it's the only thing keeping him from tumbling into insanity. What the fuck? Shouldn't the censors have cut away and spared us from that? Randy says "I'll give you one thing. It was alright for me" and gives him an "A+ for effort" and says "it's just not what you do." Kara says he took it "a little too far" and then proceeds to call Cryin' and Crazy early Aerosmith. Idiot. Does she not remember Alicia Silverstone? Who could forget that? "Was it perfect no? But I commend you for taking chances," she closes with. Paula says she "doesn't know if this was the right song for you" and asks the audience who is a Danny Gokey fan?!? And then the audience just starts cheering? She also gives him an "A++ for going for it." How transparent can they be?!? No one has said anything positive about this performance but he gets an A for trying? Simon "agrees with what everybody said" and at least admits "the last note was like watching a horror movie." "I still think you're gonna be safe tonight" says Simon.
Prognosis: They're bending over backwards to keep him in this. Maybe he sounds completely different when you're actually there? Ugh. I hate this show. 

Adam & Allison - "Slow Ride": Thank god I get me some Frankentranny duet goodness to make up for Gokey trying to murder my eardrums. The whole thing is adorable. They're clearly having tons of fun and really enjoy feeding off one another's energy. I'm totally committed to an Adam/Allison final 2 if this is what the finale would be like. Lots of runs and smiling and dorky, but charming dancing. Adam's pants are INSANE. I believe when he first walked out I referred to them as his "Beetlejuice dick pants" and I don't think there's a better way to tell you what's going on down there. Whew. "Slow Ride" totally isn't a duet song but I love it anyways and it's my favorite performance of the night and well... I never claimed to be unbiased. Frankentranny love! 

Who should go home?: Gokey, hands down. Everyone with ears and the ability to be honest with themselves agrees with me.
Who will go home?:  This one is such a tossup between everyone who isn't Adam. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's Gokey, because I want to have faith in the human race. But... it could easily be Kris or Allison. 

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