This.... is my American Idol recap after the jump!
Danny Gokey - "Dance Little Sister" (Paula's Choice) : Danny gets a txt informing him that he's going to be singing a Terence Trent D'arby song and... he doesn't know it. I feel for him just for a moment and... I'm past it. Paula explains that this song is "magical" just like Danny's voice. Yeah.
It's really hard to judge a performance of a song you're not familiar with. Any decisions made by the contestant in terms of arrangement can't really be considered. His dancing though... I can judge that. Ugh. Nothing is as painfully awkward as the weird scatting, call and answer thing he's got going on with a saxophone player in the middle. Sigh. Randy says this was "the way to jump it off tonight." Kara likes that the song keeps him in his "money spot" and that there was too much gyrating from him in the dancing. Heh. What's she's really saying there is, "I'd still hit it but you're no Matt Giraud." Simon says the dancing was "desperate" and that he didn't like the "toy saxophone solo in the middle."
Kris Allen - "Apologize" (Randy & Kara's Choice) : Kris gets his txt and asks the thousands of screaming girls in front of him if they want to hear him sing it on Tuesday. And their wombs all simultaneous explode. His performance is perfectly serviceable, nothing particularly Kris about it. His falsetto is weak. Meh. At least he's pretty. Randy & Kara wanted him to rearrange it, calling it "competent." Paula calls him out on a "bum note that was loud." Simon chastises Kara that for choosing a song for him and then blaming him for doing the song. Then insane judge bickering ensues. On the upside... there was less time for throwing Kris under the bus, which they shockingly didn't do much of. Agreeing with the judges blows.
Adam Lambert - "One" (Simon's Choice) : Simon says this is one of his favorite songs in the world and that Bono said he'd be honored for Adam to sing it. This starts out so beautifully and then devolves into the most unnecessary Tranny Screeching ever. This was such a clear chance for Adam to just sing a song without the intense flourishes and I kind of wish the judges would rip him a new one for that. Not everything requires sticking your tongue out while the camera does a full 360 around your head. Paula critiques, "You have no idea how miserable my life is right now... sitting next to [Simon] gloating." "It may sound a little bit biased but I thought that was a brilliant song choice," says Simon. Yeah. This show is about singing.
Danny Gokey - "You Are So Beautiful": Ugh. This song choice for Gokey brings back the intense hate. Ryan queens out while describing how all the young girls in the audience "awww" at it's mention. HATE! Every time he does anything like this I can't get away from thinking this is a really calculated move to remind people his wife died. It strikes me as so skeezy and manipulative. The vocals are solid though and if I close my eyes and forget who he is for a moment I can imagine my Grandmother listening to this on an adult contemporary station. That's the only way I see Danny making a non-Christian music album... if he targets the "Quiet Storm" radio show demographic. Randy says that Danny shows he can "really, really, really sing." Kara calls it "stunning." Paula says it was a "beautiful, beautiful perFORMANCE" in a really awkward way that sounds like "farm dance."
Kris Allen - "Heartless": Bias alert! I got SO excited when I heard Kris was doing this song. I love the original and I love dramatic rearrangements. Kris is on the stage alone with just his acoustic guitar and it's fan-fucking-tastic. This is exactly the kind of game-changer he needed to have a shot at getting into the final 2. Gokey went so middle of the road tonight that there's no way the judges can't recognize that what he's doing here is bold, innovative, and risky. Randy calls it "one of the toughest voting nights in the whole year of this show" and that it's "better than the original." Kara calls it "bold, brave, and fearless." Randy throws in a few "hot, hot"s while Kara blathers on. Paula "commends [him], bravo." Simon says he had written Kris out of the competition but "that has all changed after that performance" and it's SO TRUE.
Adam Lambert - "Cryin'": Adam comes out to do some "early Aerosmith" for Kara. Part of me likes to believe Adam picked this song as an insult to Gokey and his scream of doom last week, but somehow I doubt it. I'm not a huge fan of this song, but Adam is clearly having fun and that translates. Though... what the fuck?!?! the backup singer is screaming louder than he is and she's off key and it nearly brings down the whole first half of the song. Whenever he's alone it sounds great but whenever he tries to harmonize with her it's BAD. Thankfully she drops out early and we get plenty of fierce, 18-note Tranny Squeals! The performance is great but not at the level of insane greatness he's reached before. At this point Adam's greatest competition is the insane expectations people have for him. Randy, Kara, and Paula give him crazy amounts of praise. Simon points out that people need to vote for him.
Who Should Go Home?: Uh, Danny Gokey
Who Will Go Home?: I can't say I'd be shocked by any result. The Adam/Danny, dark/light, homo/Chrisitan widower finale has be pre-planned from the beginning, but I think Kris did everything he could tonight to upset that. I'm going to say... the universe loves me and we finally put the Go in Gokey.
