Friday, October 17, 2008

The Awesomeness? of Tyra Banks and ANTM

My first post on Pop Cultured...I'm so nervous. Luckily (luckily?) it's a subject I'm quite familiar with: the craziness of America's Next Top Model. And whatsmore, the 15 % love/ 95% hate feelings I have for Tyra (I'm not so great with the math, but I'm sure hate wins out here). I'm happy/ashamed that I can speak with authority on the subject, as I've seen every season of this show at least once, thanks to MTV and VH1's constant repeats. I'm not the only one either, hmmm?

Video examples after the jump!

Top Model is a bastien, a safe haven, if you will, for crazy. From my all-time favorite contestant, Jade, of Cycle 6, whose "spoken word poetry" will haunt my dreams forever,



to Lisa, who tested out diapers in public as a "joke". From Natasha, a 20 year old Russian bride who actually had phone sex on camera with her 40 year old husband (ewwww) to Naima, the least interesting person ever on the show, and she actually won! Girls have fought over granola bars, been kicked off over incidents of beer-in-weave (actually there have been many weave-related incidents over the years), and have learned to resolve their conflicts by heaping abuse on their abuser (well played Cycle 8 girls vs. Renee).

But nothing compares to Tyra. This post was inspired by this video from The Soup, take a look:



I want to know who amongst us has the courage to take down Tyra's ego. It used to be fun to laugh at her attempt at "music"


or to giggle while she showed girls how to "smile with their eyes."

But lately she's even more out of control than before. Oprah's like, "Damn, Tyra, take it down a notch." Take a look at her latest weirdness:


She admits it! She wants you to run from her! And fiercely at that. I feel like Ahab attempting to take down Moby Dick. No, that isn't a fat joke. So I put it to you folks. Who out there is gonna take her out? And how?

PS- Here I feel I must include some spoken word from Jade's last episode on ANTM. As she was leaving, she snapped her fingers down the hallway, and exited forever. Farewell, brave voyager.

Leftover lady
Let alone the strongest to be subdued
If I only had the magic key that would unlock the realms to
The plateau of the highest me
Even though I've been badly bruised
Living in a house to become a popular muse.

5 comments:

Laura Major said...

don't you mean every "Cycle" of the show?

Laura Major said...

clearly I posted this comment before I read your entire post, as you refer to the seasons as cycles for most of it. my b

Rebecca said...

Shoutout to David for awesomely cleaning up this blog...he and laura know that i don't know nothin about technology.

woodie said...

i love this effing show

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaG0tMSSqV8&feature=related

variable said...

Watching Tyra beam fiercely has changed the way I beam. Forever.