Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Made Up Celebrity Gossip!

Blind Item! 
Which actress, who seems to have stopped aging in the early 90s and has a new hit TV show, is using powerful Haitian voodoo to drain the youth from her bedraggled former child-co-star?

In light of recent events we thought it’d simplify things to release complete list of celebrities that AREN’T gay:

Patrick StewartAnyone that can spend that much time with Jonathan Frakes’ beard without succumbing to temptation is definitely full-on hetero.
Tom Selleck
Michael PhelpsHe’s only gay for me.
Christian Bale 
The Jonas Brothers - Congratulations tween girls! 
Angelica Huston
Brad PittDammit!
Dexter Freebish
Peter O’TooleIn spite of his name AND Lawrence of Arabia.
Connie Chung
The Starting Line-up of the Minnesota Vikings
Portia de RossiShe’s actually a man.
Laura Bush
Ryan SeacrestYeah, who would’ve guessed it.
Rue McClanahan
Buddy EbsenNo matter how much Jethro threw himself at him.

Everyone else... gay! 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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