Dow Closes Down 777 Points, I'm Still Poor

 I normally make it a rule not to cover any actual news on this blog. Politics are just too unseemly and most of things that make the news are just too depressing to think about, but sometimes real news is just to important to ignore. The Dow closed down 777 points for the day today, the largest point drop ever in a single day. 

As an American with no job and no assets I say to all of you... Welcome! 

Don't worry America, it's not that bad. There's room for at least two more on my couch. Also, $1 value menus are still going strong. Seriously, Wendy's has this new spicy chicken wrap thing that's positively amazing. Also, at least your one bedroom apartment doesn't cost $1400 a month. You could be living in Manhattan. Sure the credit crunch might rob you of your job and kill your home values... but think of all the time you'll have to blog. There are like 20 flavors of Ramen noodles and I can tell you which of the bottom shelf liquors don't dissolve your throat on contact.