Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Kenley, Why Won't You Die?!?

Tonight's Project Runway was kind of a beautiful train wreck. The designs were a hot mess, but I can't recall an episode where we got so much time with the designers interacting which resulted in the revelation of one immutable truth: everyone hates Kenley, almost as much as I do. 

Korto (on making Kenley look good on the runway): “I’m not gonna lie… especially not for someone like Kenley.” 

I was particularly fond of her confession which went like this: “Kenley’s a hip-hop designer *incredulous look* yep. I can’t wait for tomorrow.” I love you Korto!
After the jump, I list the reasons that Kenley is a terrible human being. Also I'll talk about my favorite moments from this week, one of them even involves Kenley! 

Dear Kenley,

You suck. I hate that you talk back to the judges every week. I hate that you can't take criticism.
 I hate that it is awkward for me on a physical level every time someone
 gives you their opinion on one of your fugly, 50s pinup girl inspired "outfits." I hate your ridiculous makeup that makes you look 10 years older than you are. Also, I hate your weird vampire teeth. I don't understand how you managed to make Tim Gunn angry, a feat I once would have said was impossible. Seriously, how foul do you have to be to make Tim Gunn want to cut a bitch? Oh Also I hate you for THIS outfit...

Yeah. I'm still bitter that it won. Seriously, it's a Florida granny couch with a purple goiter. 

David Burch

And now for the things I jotted down during the episode that I liked:

Leanne grows on me every episode and the moment I find her rap online I'm throwing it up on the main page. The Leannimal is so bizarre and nebbish and wonderful.  

Okay, so when this episode wasn't about Kenley hating life... it was about crotches. 

Leanne while getting fitted: “You’re grabbing my crotch Kenley. *giggle*” 

The phrase "bunching in the crotch" will never stop being funny. 

Kenley: “Being sexed up by Jerrell is a little scary.” Easily the only thing the two of us have ever agreed on. 

And what was up with Jerrell's pants? His junk was the 6th finalist this episode. I found it particularly amusing when the director clearly told him to hold his hands in front of his crotch for the sweep over shot, though the following intensely awkward dick closeup was totally unnecessary.  

Suede after hair and makeup: “I’m thinking I look like I should’ve been in the drag queen challenge.”

Tim walking in after hair and makeup: “What happened to everybody?!? I’ve forgotten why I’m here!”

Also, what was up with the next week on Project Runway, Why is EVERYONE crying?!?

And just so this post isn't quite so negative... I leave you now with a Kenley I adore...


Rebecca said...

How much do I love that you signed your letter "Best, David." Heh.
It reminds me of a certain tv show's quote :"'Best' equals 'Not Love!'"
I heart you guys and your blogs.
Soon Megan and I will guest-blog and leave a West Coast slime on your blog.

Anonymous said...

I am so tired of Kenley playing the victim. She has to "fight her whole life" because she's a horrible person. I can't understand why the judges didn't send her home just to give her a reality check, what was up with the bottom of that dress. I was let down tonight, and will again tune in next week to see if they finally send her home.