6 months ago
Friday, October 03, 2008
Weirdest Thing on the Internet?
It's a bold declaration to call something the weirdest thing on the internet, but this viral video has got to be close. A video personal ad from a feral cat from Brooklyn, this video manages to reference Rent and Perfect Strangers, both of which Laura and I are fans of, while being weirdly hypnotic and otherworldly. Also the high pitched voice makes my dog, Rocky, run over and stare at the computer whenever it's on.
Valentine for a Perfect Stranger
Scaaaaaaary Dog Pictures!
Since it's October, and since my friend Breck kindly sent me the best email ever, I'm going to post a pic from this email every morning this month. That is, of course, if I remember to do so.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Survivor: Gabon-er
The Parents Television Council is made up of idiots... and here's yet another example. Ridiculousness in bold:PTC Blasts CBS for Nudity on 'Survivor' Premiere
LOS ANGELES (September 30, 2008) - The Parents Television Council™ called out CBS for allowing a contestant's penis to air unedited during the premiere episode of "Survivor: Gabon" on Thursday, September 25.
During the show's premiere, the contestants participated in a race for "immunity and rewards." Contestant Marcus Lehman's penis was shown falling out of his underwear as he ran to the finish line. The image was not obscured in any way.
"Unsatisfied with the growing volume of indecent material on live broadcasts, CBS has once again decided to violate the public trust, this time by including an unedited shot of a penis on 'Survivor.' Although this instance was brief, it was nonetheless shocking and purposeful. Unfortunately, with the number of people inside the network reviewing every frame of video, CBS knew full well of this nudity and elected to include it anyway," said PTC President Tim Winter.
"CBS's decision to hide behind excuses that the incident was 'fleeting' and didn't generate an immediate flood of complaints is the epitome of irresponsibly. The number of 'fleeting' penises we expect to see on broadcast television is zero.
CBS's harsh response:
Links to the NSFW screenshots, including an animated GIF can be found HERE.
Things I Don't Understand - Fred
So I spend a lot of time on the interwebs, watching a LOT of random crap on YouTube, but I have never before been so confused by the general public as I am by the popularity of Fred. Fred, as far as I can tell, is what you would get if Jennifer Tilly, The Flash, and Cher Horowitz somehow had a gay teenage son, gave him a video camera, and took his meds away. This kid has 29 videos on YouTube right now each of which has literally millions of views. The most popular is at 10 million?!?
Possible Explanations for the Popularity of Fred:
Some people watch literally EVERYTHING on YouTube
He forces friends to watch these videos at gunpoint
NAMBLA
This is the end result of the complete failure of our public education system
Blogs, in shock that people are watching these, link to them causing more views
My Most Evil Talent
One of the many talents I have is getting songs stuck in David’s head. I have many ways of doing this including actually singing the song, text messaging, email, and of course Instant Message. Many times I use this talent for evil/my own amusement. The songs that I attack him with most often, After the Jump!
Losing You- Jan Terri
The Worst Music Video Ever - Watch more free videos
Heat of the Moment: Cartmen/Congress Version
Holy Diver- Dio
So yeah, I’m a strange, and apparently mean spirited person.
Sorry David!!
Remember When This Show Was About Fashion?
Alright, I think we can all agree that Kenley sucks and yes, everybody cried. Sure it'd be fun to post everything mean said about Kenley this week, but really it all boils down to "My Dad was a tugboat captain and I can be as loud and obnoxious as I want" followed by a hearty "You suck!"
If I want to watch self involved people talk shit about one another and cry, I can watch The Real World. Going over my notes from last night's episode I found that I wrote "what if everyone cries because Kenley isn't eliminated" and I guess I was kind of right, but there are larger problems here.
Gloom, doom, crying, and fugly dresses after the jump.
For starters this dress won! I mean.... wahhh?!? It doesn't even have a top. Where are her nipples? We're down to the final four contestants who were given two days to make a gown that had to be "inspired by a flower," hands down one of the easiest most open-ended challenges in the series history and THIS is the best of the best. Is Jerell not aware that women have boobs?
And then there's Kenly's freaky snake dress or as Jerell so accurately put it "Kenley the dragon slayer's tube dress of scales." THIS wasn't enough to warrant an elimination? I can kind of understand because Korto's dress was a shitty shame as well. But I get the distinct impression that the producers want Kenley around so that there's enough drama to distract from the fact that this is the least talented group of finalists ever. It's barely a step above what it would look like if you took the cast of The Amazing Race and told them to make dresses.
As much as I was looking forward to the shit storm that is everyone crying from last weeks preview, I have to say the best part about this episode was the scathing remarks from the judges. From Nina's "this whole thing is kind of creepy" (at least she wasn't bored) to Michael's "I wrote cliche." At least the judges recognize how sad this whole season has become. While I wish Kenley was elminated and I can understand that someone had to win, even if all the dresses were sinfully ugly. Why are Jerell and Leanne not safe next week?
One final complaint... can the producers just drop the whole "only three of you go to Bryant Park" schtick. At this point we always know there will be some twist and anyone who reads anything about the show online is aware that four designers have always shown. This year the final six contestants got to show at Bryant Park!!! So it's not like whoever is eliminated next isn't going to get to have a show.
Next Up on Project Runway: Korto's making vagina dresses?!?
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Mid-90s Nostalgia Day! Sort of.
Laura and I were looking at our posts for the day and realized the images on the blog were Tommy Boy, Cop and a Half, and the SNICK logo, so since today became accidental mid-90s nostalgia day. I thought I'd post this gem. Also, We both love the way this kid says "mari JUAN a."
Pop Culture Tourettes: Tommy Boy
Earlier this week I told you about the Phenomenon of Pop Culture Tourettes. I explored this phenomenon with the help of Billy Madison because I was surprised (and a little ashamed) at how often I quoted that movie. Today I’m going to use Tommy Boy, a movie I proudly quote all the time. I first saw Tommy Boy while attending Furman Tennis camp with my cousin Libby, and I think I’ve seen it about 100 times since that fateful night 13 years ago. Wow, Tommy Boy is 13 years old? Crazy. This is a movie that my entire family quotes quite often; my brother believes he is entitled to $40.00 from the government every time he quotes this movie because it makes people happy.
Tommy Boy
“It doesn’t hurt here so much, or here, but right here”
I say this if someone is talking about a pain or bruise they have, and can’t pinpoint the position. You would be surprised how often this happens.
"Hmm he seems like a nice guy"
My sister Annie started saying this a lot this summer, so I started saying it a lot. Sometimes randomly, and sometimes if we are discussing someone that seems nice.
"It’s gotta be your bull"
Annie and I use this one if someone screws up what they are saying, or jumbles their words. It makes them feel stupid, and it makes us laugh.
"Richardd whats happening!?!"
Hmm, I say this if I’m unsure of the situation I’m in… It really confuses people, because I’m rarely around people named Richard.
"Did I catch a niner in there?"
I say this to people if they trail off.
"God I love that"
I say this in the Dan Akroydesque Chicago accent when I see something I
like.
"Shut up Richard."
If someone corrects me or makes me feel stupid—again, it’s confusing because of the Richard thing.
"You could put six packs of be…soda in there"
Annie and I use this one a lot, I just can’t think of how.
More Quotes after the jump!
"House Keeping"
I usually say this when I knock on people’s doors
"Brothers don’t shake hands, brothers gotta hug!"
Clearly this is used when I hug people after they just try to shake hands...
"Hey, Prehistoric Forest!"
If I, or someone around me notices or makes a delayed comment about something in plain sight (you’d have to be familiar with the movie to understand why it’s a hilarious quote)…
"Heh heh, are you sure?"
Whenever I’m being sarcastic to someone about something that’s pretty darn obvious.
“I don't think so”
Whenever I say “I don’t think so,” I say it like the flight attendant from this movie.
"Try an association like, uhhh... Let's say the average person uses ten percent of their brain. How much do you use? One and a half percent. The rest is clogged with malted hops and bong resin."
Sounds funny, but whenever someone actually says 10%, or 1 ½% , I just say this. It rarely has any meaning.
"Oh yeah, I buy brake pads off him. I thought we were watching cartoons."
This is actually the quote Denny used when he mentioned the $40.00 thing. I can’t remember how it came up, but it was funny, so I figured I should mention it.
"We’ve still got that meatlover’s pizza in the trunk"
Whenever someone brings up a positive point in a crappy situation.
"Aww, I’ve interrupted Happy Time"
Just something random that I say…
"That was from Star Wars."
If someone/I reference something that no one gets. The great thing is that the reference doesn’t have to be Star Wars, it can be anything. If people don’t realize that I’m quoting Tommy Boy when saying “That was from Star Wars” they think that whatever was just quoted/referenced before that was in fact from Star Wars. Was that clear? Probably not. Sorry.
"Screw you! Screw all of you!"
Whenever I’m exclaiming Anger at someone, or a group of people.
"Now let's see what happens when you're driving with the "other guy's" brake pads”
"And the medic gets out and says, "Oh my God"."
"All bec
ause you want to save a couple extra pennies."
Those quotes are from the same little monologue. When I was little my family’s computer had a lot of random movie quotes/monologues downloaded, (keep in mind this was 10 years prior to YouTube), and we used to listen to/ memorize these quotes, this was one of them, so I just recite it sometimes, but those are the 3 I use most often.
"Do you validate?
Whenever I need my parking validated. Or I say it to Annie sometimes to make her laugh.
"That's when the whores come in."
Whenever my family’s brakepad company is about to go under, bringing the whole town under—because that’s when the whores come in.
There are soo many more, but I thought I’d bore/weird out you, my loyal readers, if I went on too long.
WikiTrivia - Tidbits I Learned on Wikipedia This Week
Rocky IV is the most financially successful movie of the Rocky franchise. Yeah, the one where he fights the Russian.
An optimist is a person with a positive outlook on life and that always finds something positive in a situation, and also enjoys the taste and sensation of Monster Energy Drinktm.
The Mr. Big character from Candace Bushnell's column Sex and the City was based on publishing executive Ron Galotti, former publisher of GQ and Talk magazine.
Paul Lieberstein, a writer and actor who plays Toby Flenderson on the NBC series The Office, was once a writer for Clarissa Explains It All.
Christopher Nolan said that the drug bust scene in the warehouse at the end of Cop and a Half served as an inspiration for the warehouse drug bust scene in Batman Begins where Batman takes down Valconi and a number of his thugs.
Smoking Ban!
Today Columbia, SC went Smoke Free in all Bars and Restaurants. As someone pretty sensitive to second hand smoke, and someone that hates washing her clothes every Saturday morning, I'm a fan. Go Mayor Bob and Cola city council!
Origins of a Media Junkie - SNICK
I have always watched an ungodly amount of television, but most of my early childhood was spent watching children's programming, reruns on Nick and Nite, and whatever was on HBO, Showtime, and Cinemax. That all changed on August 15, 1992 with the debuts of SNICK, Nickelodeon's 2 hour Saturday night block of programming for children. It was my first introduction to appointment television. Every Saturday night for the next two years, at least those where the HBO Saturday Night Movie wasn't something I'd wanted to see but could never ask my parents to take me to, I would plop myself down in front of the TV with a Coke and a microwavable pizza.
Eventually this routine would include switching over to USA at 10 for Weird Science and Duckman, followed by 30 long minutes wherein I waited for the nightly news to pass so that SNL would finally come on. That's a 5 hour block of TV right there, every Saturday night. I was hooked.
I did some digging online and found plenty of YouTube based SNICK nostalgia, all of which is after the jump.
Snick Intro
The bumper the preceded each nights block of programming. Love to the Big Orange Couch!
Clarissa Explains It All Credits
Clarissa Explains It All Credits
Na naaa na na naaaa. This show used to annoy the shit out of my mother, which is mostly remarkable because I can't remember her ever disliking any other TV show ever. I also really distinctly remember having a crush on Sean O'Neal, which may actually predate what I previously thought to be my first crush.... Wesley Crusher (not Wil Wheaton, just Wesley).
Ren & Stimpy Credits
Ren & Stimpy Credits
I have to admit that this show has always weirded me out a little. Though there's a special place in my heart for LOG and Powdered Toast Man... and that one episode where they're in space.
Are You Afraid of the Dark Credits
Are You Afraid of the Dark Credits
I very distinctly remember the doll in the opening credits scaring the shit out of me when I was nine. Freaky staring at the camera doll thing!
Commercials Aired During SNICK in 1993
Commercials Aired During SNICK in 1993
Of all the things I found this is hands down my favorite. I remember most of these commercials verbatim. Feel free to ignore the random clip of the dudes around the 3 minute mark.
Sadly there were no embeddable Roundhouse credits available online.... but Retrojunk has a the theme and you can get to HERE.
Log!
I mean.... you've got to have log.
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