Real Housewives New York Reunion Cartoon.
Amazing.
5 weeks ago
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
No Muppets here, but...
We claim on our site to be "the #1 Muppet/Same-sex Marriage Activism/American Idol/SNL blog on the web," so the current events of this week made me want to post this video:
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
David and Laura on Laura annoying David
This conversation actually makes me look like a crazy person.
D: Can you imagine how much more fun we'll have?
L: It's true Lefou
D: You say that daily now
L: I know
D: and I found myself repeating it in an OCD fashion when I woke up this morning
D: Like it was stuck in my head like a song
L: hahahahahhahahahahahhaha
D: I got up this morning and I randomly said "It's true Lefou"
L: It's true Lefou, and I've got my sights set on that one...
L: What the inventors daughter?
D: Yes. I ran through the whole thing
L: ...She's the one, the lucky girl I'm going to marry...
L: But, she's...
D: and it's all your fault
L: ...the most beautiful girl in town...
L: ...that makes her the best, and don't I deserve the best?
D: I figured you'd enjoy inspiring that bit of insanity
L: it was inspiring
L: it inspires me to annoy you
Buffy sans Joss--FAIL
I read this article today and almost had a conniption fit...
Apparently Fran Rubel Kuzui, the director of the 1992 P.O.S. film,
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Remember this Douchebag?
I found this early 90s Encyclopedia Britannica on youtube and was struck with a very powerful memory of hating this guy from a very young age. An aside, isn't it weird to imagine having a home encyclopedia as your primary means of researching things? Bizarre.
Friday, May 22, 2009
David and Laura on Laura's friendships
L: Annie asked why the gays gravitate towards me
D: Hah
D: It's just the nerdy gays
L: yes, that does seem to be a theme
D: There's a whole group of gays with overplucked eyebrows and fake tans that aren't drawn to you
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Another reason I heart Dan Hopper...
AD WIZARDS: Children Confused By Gay Marriage, Everything
By Dan Hopper
It’s hard to believe this ad is actually real, but I don’t think anyone could’ve written a funnier anti-gay-marriage parody, so I’m inclined to just accept it.
The basic message: If gays are allowed to marry, children will be confused. And we can’t have things in society that confuse children. While we’re at it, we’re axing the F.D.I.C., cancer research, quantum physics, and the majority of the judicial system, because children cannot even BEGIN to understand those things, and I’m sure as hell not gonna waste my time explaining it to them. As we all know, children are innately born with the knowledge that being straight is the only correct thing, so why would we allow gay marriage and invite all these annoying, slowly-worded questions?
By Dan Hopper
It’s hard to believe this ad is actually real, but I don’t think anyone could’ve written a funnier anti-gay-marriage parody, so I’m inclined to just accept it.
The basic message: If gays are allowed to marry, children will be confused. And we can’t have things in society that confuse children. While we’re at it, we’re axing the F.D.I.C., cancer research, quantum physics, and the majority of the judicial system, because children cannot even BEGIN to understand those things, and I’m sure as hell not gonna waste my time explaining it to them. As we all know, children are innately born with the knowledge that being straight is the only correct thing, so why would we allow gay marriage and invite all these annoying, slowly-worded questions?
via BWE
David and Laura on Special K and Television pitches
D: So remember how I was allergic to Special K with berries?
D: I had a weird reaction to Regular Special K today
L: weird
D: I know
L: the newest trailer for "Land of the Lost" makes me actually want to see it
D: I've actually heard good things
L: I do love some Danny McBride
D: And I love Sleestaks
D: I wish we could get a return to the fantasy/sci-fi sitcoms of the 60s and 70s
L: Dammit man I'm a Doctor, not a time traveler!
D: I'd love a single-camera office like show but with a genie or a witch
D: and the same style of mundane humor
L: hahaha
D: That's actually a great pitch
D: Or my Special K reaction is crippling my brain
L: hahaha
D: or both
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
American Idol Top 2 - Retreads, Producer's Pick, and Worst Song Ever
It's the end of the road folks. The last episode of Idol voting and the first half of what will surely be a bonkers finale, filled with pimping, random cameos, the return of Shrill Rounds and that blind guy that turned out to be funny. Here's hoping Megan Joy gets a song about birds tomorrow night.
Unfortunately, none of that exciting stuff will happen in this episode (except the pimping). Instead we get the worst episode of every season of Idol... the top 2 performance episode. How I wish the finale allowed the final 2, who should theoretically be at their best, to interpret and change up three new songs of their own choosing. Instead we get one retread, one horrific pick by Simon Fuller, and Kara has kindly written the worst song in the history of music for the contestants to bleat!
This is American Idol? And this.... is my last recap, after the jump.
Adam Lambert - "A Change is Gonna Come"
Simon Fuller has inexplicably chosen this song for Adam. I have two problems with this song. It doesn't fit his style at all and it's so weighted down with the history of the Civil Rights movement that a white glam rocker singing it on Idol just seems weird. If they'd every acknowledged that Adam is openly gay or made that a part of his narrative on the show then maybe this could be a song tying those movements together and making a statement... creating a real moment for him. Instead I can barely listen to the performance because this selection is just SO odd. Adam does a good job with it, though it doesn't sound like him and marks the second subdued performance on his part and really all I wanted out of tonight's six performances was just one fierce Tranny Squeal to make America uncomfortable. Adam seems to be resisting that side of himself (the entertaining side) as much as possible tonight to avoid scaring away Gokey voters that are looking for someone to support. Randy says Adam "can sing his face off." She Who Will Not Be Named blathers on and prepares to climb mountains or some such. Paula stands up and goes bug fuck crazy, twirling an imaginary lasso.
Kris Allen - "What's Going On"
Kris pulls out the guitar and further pushes this singer/songwriter image he's gunning for tonight, to further distinguish himself from Adam. The arrangement is a little mellow. There's bongos. There's lots of side-jaw on Kris' part. The vocal is great though, simple with just enough flourishes to show that he's got some range. During the close-up I can only think I'm glad he didn't shave for performance night. He's so much hotter with stubble. That stubble could be the thing that pushes him to win. Randy calls it "light for this big ole room." Kara hangs herself in shame. Paula says she "knows what's gong on... you tore that song up and made Marvin Gaye proud!" Simon says it "was too laid back for a night like this." Meh. Simon needs to learn that pop music is no longer Celine Dion and Mariah Carey. I think what Kris did could easily be an arena concert now.
Kris pulls out the guitar and further pushes this singer/songwriter image he's gunning for tonight, to further distinguish himself from Adam. The arrangement is a little mellow. There's bongos. There's lots of side-jaw on Kris' part. The vocal is great though, simple with just enough flourishes to show that he's got some range. During the close-up I can only think I'm glad he didn't shave for performance night. He's so much hotter with stubble. That stubble could be the thing that pushes him to win. Randy calls it "light for this big ole room." Kara hangs herself in shame. Paula says she "knows what's gong on... you tore that song up and made Marvin Gaye proud!" Simon says it "was too laid back for a night like this." Meh. Simon needs to learn that pop music is no longer Celine Dion and Mariah Carey. I think what Kris did could easily be an arena concert now.
So here it is people. It's time to confront Kara's coronation song, "No Boundaries," the worst song ever written. Midway through Adam's performance I lost it, with full on out-of-control laughter, listening to the lyrics and I figured we should just deal with them upfront:
With every step you climb another mountain
With every breath it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing
Someone is getting saddled with this as their first single and frankly that makes me wish Danny Gokey was going to be our American Idol. It's rare that you get songs about giants asphyxiating during recurrent hurricanes. Also "You can go higher! You can go deeper!" being screamed by Adam Lambert is something only a small portion of the population was hoping to get out of tonight's show. With that said... how did they do with what they were given?
Kris Allen - "No Boundaries"
Kris starts way too high and keeps getting further outside his range. He also drops a whole line out of the chorus and it's not even the one about hurricanes. I would have mad respect for him tossing that out. God this whole performance is painful. He seems out of breath and I really think something's gone horribly wrong here. The judges all seem to agree and try to push people to vote based on the whole season and not on this one, horrific, performance. Adam Lambert - "No Boundaries"
God this is so difficult. He misses a LOT of notes but keeps a pretty good hold on the song overall until he drifts off into what sound like random screeches towards the end. As soon as it's over... I start feeling the pain that comes with knowing I have to listen to it again. Randy again says "you can sing anything" and is kind enough to not add "and this song really tested the boundaries of that idea." Paula says "adjectives can't express what Adam brought to season eight." Simon correctly mocks the "mountains and hurricanes" and calls Adam "a worldwide star" in the making.
God this is so difficult. He misses a LOT of notes but keeps a pretty good hold on the song overall until he drifts off into what sound like random screeches towards the end. As soon as it's over... I start feeling the pain that comes with knowing I have to listen to it again. Randy again says "you can sing anything" and is kind enough to not add "and this song really tested the boundaries of that idea." Paula says "adjectives can't express what Adam brought to season eight." Simon correctly mocks the "mountains and hurricanes" and calls Adam "a worldwide star" in the making.
Kris Allen - "No Boundaries"
Who should win? I think no matter who wins we should all take a moment to be thankful that no matter what the winner isn't Danny Gokey. I voted repeatedly for Adam. I think there's a strong case for both of them depending on what styles of music you're into. Personally, I want a gay Idol. Also I'm going to see the Idols Live Tour this summer and I'd really like Adam to end the show.
Who will win? This is WAY too close to call but my immediate thought after the show was that Kris will very narrowly take it. I think he'll pick up the majority of Gokey's fans. Adam wasn't at his best and Kara's Musical Holocaust aside, Kris was really on his game.
David and Laura on Lady Gaga
L: Blah, I have such a girl crush on Lady Gaga
D: Hah
D: Woodie can talk you through that
L: Heh
Sorry to do this twice in a row, but it'll be a daily thing for a while...I know how everyone has missed PopCultured popping up in their Google Readers and RSS feeds! Also, I'm pretty sure there'll be an AI and Glee recap to look forward to today!!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
David and Laura on Vengeance Demons
The initial "Mission Statement," if you will, for this blog was to put forth an idea of what it was like to hang out with Laura and David. In that spirit, and much against my co-blogger's wishes (I'm sure), I'm going to start posting excerpts from some of our nerdier and more amusing conversations with more frequency--cause, come on, who wouldn't want to read more gems like this classic?
With that said, here's the conversation that inspired my revamped desire to post these things:
L: “Selfless” Anya’s make-up is much scarier than Anya’s make-up in “The Wish”
D: Really?
D: I tend to think the other way around
D: But maybe because you only see her for a second in “The Wish”
L: Haha
L: yeah
L: It just seems much more severe to me in “Selfless”
D: This is a conversation no one should ever have
L: I know
L: and I think we should post it
D: No
L: please?
D: No
L: awwwww
D: That's a dealbreaker, lady
L: Hahahah
L: Maybe I should start a Tumblr of David and Laura convos that you never find out about
D: I mean you could, but it would only compete with the website we already have
L: Hahaha
D: There's really not that large a market for fans of us
D: Pretty much just people who know us, like gay marriage and the Muppets, or hate Danny Gokey
Sorry David.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
American Idol Top 3 - Judge's & Contestant's Choice
It's the time kids. Top 3, where the producers bring out the big guns to help get rid of contestants they don't want in the finale... Judge's Choice song selections. Though I doubt anything will ever top Syesha's song last year, a completely unknown dance-pop song from the soundtrack of Happy Feet, Hit Me Up. Let's see how the judges throw Kris under the bus and what they can say to push Chokey Karaoke Gokey into the finals.
This.... is my American Idol recap after the jump!
Monday, May 11, 2009
A night in the life of Amy J. in NYC...
My dear friend Amy is subject to very odd things happening to her, which is great for her friends, because she's a great writer, and at least once a month we get crazy emails telling us these stories. My favorite is when a Cabbie threw a Poland Spring bottle full of urine at her head for not getting out of the cab quickly enough.
We got one such email today, and I feel the need to share it with you, my readers, b/c it's awesome.
Omg. Last night I got in a cab to go home and I got the craziest cab driver on the planet. This man tried to make me write a story about him and he forceabley handed me multiple religious tracts and a DVD about himself (he claims one of them is gonna be at Sundance) and he calls himself "Rolling for Jesus" (see attached photo)...he did not stop preaching to me (or talking about himself and all that he does to help others) - he also gives all of his passengers toy to play with in the back (sketch) and pizza and or garlic knots (which he offered to me l
ike 3x) (also sketch) --- and he had 200 bagels in his trunk. FACT. He tried to give me a dozen, but I just wanted to get out of the car b/c even though I am sure he is trying to do a nice thing and help less fortunate people, it was all very bizzaro. Apparently he owns 2 cabs and has a huge house already paid for in Williamsburg, so he just does this for fun...and if you can't pay him in full it's ok to give him whatever you have.
DUDE. This guy is so bogus.
HOW/WHY do these things happen to me????
For further info on said cab driver, click here.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
In honor of Mother's day, an email from Mom
So last night I received this email from my mother, subject: "Star Trek."
Laura,
Hope you're doing something fun tonight, but if you're home there is something about Star Trek on the History Channel. It's about Christie's Auction House getting ready for an auction of Star Trek stuff. They looked at episodes and matched up the costumes and props etc. You would like it! MOM
I'm glad my mother has accepted me as the nerd that I am. Also, the Star Trek movie was incredible. Live long and prosper.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Danny Gokey's "Dream On" Screech
For those of you who didn't see last night's Idol, here's the most annoying sound in the world. Any Gokey fans out there want to step up and tell me I'm wrong about this? No seriously... I just want to see someone try to defend this.
And scene!
You Freudian Slut!
I didn't know these existed... a YouTube compilation video of funny slip-ups that's actually funny.
Hee.
American Idol Top 4 - Rock Week!
Are you ready to rock?!? Idol isn't as Seacrest explains that for the first time the finalists haven't had a dress rehearsal, because one of the giant neon Idol signs exploded and fell down. This should be interesting as it means for once the judges will have to critique only the performances they're watching now instead of the dress rehearsal they normally take notes on. Anyone else expecting a massive Kara fail? Oh everyone? Moving along then.
Slash is the mentor and even he is like "Yeah. Who would think I'd end up on this show?" But, alas, even Slash needs a little publicity now and then. He's a badass throughout. I have to admit. When I heard that they were doing Rock Week I never expected it to be filled with so many actual rock songs. Seriously. It's like a Guitar Hero concert for tweens up in here.
Who sucked? (Danny) Who rocked? (Adam, almost literally with his cock out... those pants!) Find out after the jump. This........................ is my American Idol recap!
Adam Lambert - "Whole Lotta Love": Led Zepelin on American Idol. Wah?!? Slash calls Adam "easy" and I giggle. Adam wants to "come out and kill it" and he comes out with some serious jewelry on. Also, he's some new orangey color. Is that makeup? The vocals are spot on. He doesn't stray too far from the original, though it's a return to the crotch-thrusting intense, tranny sexuality that made "Ring of Fire" so awkward and amazing all at once. He finishes off with a tranny squeal and face it... he's got this shit wrapped up. It was a great performance and I got so wrapped up in it I didn't come up with any snark. I mean... the necklace was insane, but wonderfully Adam insane. Kara calls him a "rock god" and goes crazy and starts scream "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" Who's her favorite now? I'm confused. Simon says the performance was "a little understated."
Pronosis: Uh. Yeah. He's safe and he's the only one.
Allison Iraheta - "Cry Baby": Allison's made a trip to Adam's hair dresser, so they've reach a new level in their fag/hag relationship apparently. Overall she does justice to Janis, which is not an easy thing to do. Sometimes her upper register sounds a little shreiky. But overall she's in control of the song and the stage and I like it. While listening, I think to myself this is what her album should be. I'm such an Allison fantard. I started to write that her voice is so rich and textured and I love it and it's true but I feel like a dork for typing it. Randy says she can "sing her face off" but he "didn't love this." Kara says that Allison needs to be doing "bluesy rock" and she should have sung "Piece of My Heart." Paula thinks that "if they ever do a biopic on Janis Joplin, [she's] got the role" and Allison very politely laughs. Also, Jenna Maroney is Jackie Jormp-Jomp, thank you very much. Simon thinks she had "complete confidence" but wasn't "very original." Allison talks back some and it's awkward and Ryan sends us to commercial.
Prognosis: She should be safe but she isn't.
Danny & Kris - "Renegade": It's our first Idol duet and it's... not really a duet song. Danny & Kris sound good during the harmonies but separately this isn't really a song for either of them and they mostly just awkwardly stand there holding the mic stands, bobbing up and down. It's intensely karaoke. I like that someone in hair and makeup gave Danny slightly more pointy hair because it's more "rock." It's a shouty mess towards the end and let's just all pretend that didn't happen. Randy likes the harmonies as well. Kara says there were "pitchy moments" and says she doesn't think they could hear themselves. Heh. P0wned by Kara! Simon says that "Danny was better than Kris." Which... okay?
Prognosis: The scripted throwing of Kris under the bus has begun!
Kris Allen - "Come Together": Kris plays guitar with Slash in rehearsal and it made him "want to pee [his] pants." Heh. Totally understandable. The crunchier guitars throughout this version are fun. Sadly they drown out Kris' vocals a bit. He sounds pretty good, jams on his guitar, and looks like he's having fun. We get some side-jaw screams. Overall I think it's a solid performance, though I have to admit, I'm pretty fond of Come Together and that's got to be a factor. Randy appreciates him picking something so he can "still be Kris Allen" and likes what he did on his guitar. Kara calls him "the softer side of rock" and it "wasn't a great performance." She also says he's "trying too hard." Fuck you, Kara. You're the queen of trying too hard. Simon says "It was rather like eating ice for lunch. It leaves you with nothing to remember afterwards." *sigh*
Kris Allen - "Come Together": Kris plays guitar with Slash in rehearsal and it made him "want to pee [his] pants." Heh. Totally understandable. The crunchier guitars throughout this version are fun. Sadly they drown out Kris' vocals a bit. He sounds pretty good, jams on his guitar, and looks like he's having fun. We get some side-jaw screams. Overall I think it's a solid performance, though I have to admit, I'm pretty fond of Come Together and that's got to be a factor. Randy appreciates him picking something so he can "still be Kris Allen" and likes what he did on his guitar. Kara calls him "the softer side of rock" and it "wasn't a great performance." She also says he's "trying too hard." Fuck you, Kara. You're the queen of trying too hard. Simon says "It was rather like eating ice for lunch. It leaves you with nothing to remember afterwards." *sigh*
Prognosis: They want his ass gone before the finals.
Danny Gokey - "Dream On": Holy. Living. Fuck. It's nothing but love for the readers of this blog that propelled me to watch this performance again. I've had a lot of issues with Danny throughout this competition. I think he's smug and annoying and I find it offensive the way he let his wife's death be used by a FOX reality show to propel himself to stardom, but this performance is worse than all of that. Slash calls him "gifted" and Danny thinks he can go for "bigger things" with this performance. First of all... why is he wearing guido jewelry, a collared shirt with a vest, and pinstripe pants to do Aerosmith? It starts off okay... a little shouty... a little gross but not terrible. Then there's the strobe lights that start some impromptu scatting! Oh sweet Jesus. The strobes won't stop and now there's a key change and SINGING FAIL! I've had better performances while drunk at 3am at karaoke. My ears start to bleed and now he's screaming.... and he missed that note completely. The strobes are getting faster and now he's trying to mix it up by hitting every note and he gets down on one knee while holding the mic stand like it's the only thing keeping him from tumbling into insanity. What the fuck? Shouldn't the censors have cut away and spared us from that? Randy says "I'll give you one thing. It was alright for me" and gives him an "A+ for effort" and says "it's just not what you do." Kara says he took it "a little too far" and then proceeds to call Cryin' and Crazy early Aerosmith. Idiot. Does she not remember Alicia Silverstone? Who could forget that? "Was it perfect no? But I commend you for taking chances," she closes with. Paula says she "doesn't know if this was the right song for you" and asks the audience who is a Danny Gokey fan?!? And then the audience just starts cheering? She also gives him an "A++ for going for it." How transparent can they be?!? No one has said anything positive about this performance but he gets an A for trying? Simon "agrees with what everybody said" and at least admits "the last note was like watching a horror movie." "I still think you're gonna be safe tonight" says Simon.
Danny Gokey - "Dream On": Holy. Living. Fuck. It's nothing but love for the readers of this blog that propelled me to watch this performance again. I've had a lot of issues with Danny throughout this competition. I think he's smug and annoying and I find it offensive the way he let his wife's death be used by a FOX reality show to propel himself to stardom, but this performance is worse than all of that. Slash calls him "gifted" and Danny thinks he can go for "bigger things" with this performance. First of all... why is he wearing guido jewelry, a collared shirt with a vest, and pinstripe pants to do Aerosmith? It starts off okay... a little shouty... a little gross but not terrible. Then there's the strobe lights that start some impromptu scatting! Oh sweet Jesus. The strobes won't stop and now there's a key change and SINGING FAIL! I've had better performances while drunk at 3am at karaoke. My ears start to bleed and now he's screaming.... and he missed that note completely. The strobes are getting faster and now he's trying to mix it up by hitting every note and he gets down on one knee while holding the mic stand like it's the only thing keeping him from tumbling into insanity. What the fuck? Shouldn't the censors have cut away and spared us from that? Randy says "I'll give you one thing. It was alright for me" and gives him an "A+ for effort" and says "it's just not what you do." Kara says he took it "a little too far" and then proceeds to call Cryin' and Crazy early Aerosmith. Idiot. Does she not remember Alicia Silverstone? Who could forget that? "Was it perfect no? But I commend you for taking chances," she closes with. Paula says she "doesn't know if this was the right song for you" and asks the audience who is a Danny Gokey fan?!? And then the audience just starts cheering? She also gives him an "A++ for going for it." How transparent can they be?!? No one has said anything positive about this performance but he gets an A for trying? Simon "agrees with what everybody said" and at least admits "the last note was like watching a horror movie." "I still think you're gonna be safe tonight" says Simon.
Prognosis: They're bending over backwards to keep him in this. Maybe he sounds completely different when you're actually there? Ugh. I hate this show.
Adam & Allison - "Slow Ride": Thank god I get me some Frankentranny duet goodness to make up for Gokey trying to murder my eardrums. The whole thing is adorable. They're clearly having tons of fun and really enjoy feeding off one another's energy. I'm totally committed to an Adam/Allison final 2 if this is what the finale would be like. Lots of runs and smiling and dorky, but charming dancing. Adam's pants are INSANE. I believe when he first walked out I referred to them as his "Beetlejuice dick pants" and I don't think there's a better way to tell you what's going on down there. Whew. "Slow Ride" totally isn't a duet song but I love it anyways and it's my favorite performance of the night and well... I never claimed to be unbiased. Frankentranny love!
Who should go home?: Gokey, hands down. Everyone with ears and the ability to be honest with themselves agrees with me.
Who will go home?: This one is such a tossup between everyone who isn't Adam. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's Gokey, because I want to have faith in the human race. But... it could easily be Kris or Allison.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
May means horses and booze...
It's the first Saturday in May, meaning it's time for that sweet, minty, bourbony Southern concoction, the Mint Julep. Mom says mine is the best she's ever had, so apparently I'm a pretty gifted bar tender. Here's a pic:
P.S. I too am bummed that I couldn't use a silver Mint Julep cup, but they were out of commission this year. Also, I'm pulling for Jenny Craig's Horse, "Chocolate Candy."
Journalism Is Dead
I fear for people whose primary news source is the headlines that pop up when you log on to Yahoo! News, and frankly I guess those people are doing better than the ones that don't read anything. Right now they're leading off with this major story:
Um.... noted?
Friday, May 01, 2009
Loud 'N Clear, great for eavesdropping and hunting...
Since I watch a lot of "tru tv," I tend to catch this commercial several times a night and I've been meaning to write about it for a while, so here goes...
I'm just amazed that the selling points of this device include eavesdropping on your neighbors and one-upping the animals you're hunting.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)